BEDROOM CHRONICLES: BUILDING BACK CONFIDENCE IN THE BEDROOM

A woman’s body is so magical. We carry the life we create, birth it, go through menstrual cycles and even menopause. Let’s not forget the hormones after birth and possible postpartum. Our bodies come in all shapes and sizes and although women have beautiful bodies, we still are critical of ourselves and sometimes lack confidence in many areas. Some of the most famous women will tell you that they are self-conscious about their bodies. So, while we work to have the body; feeling it will make us more confident, they are dealing with their own insecurities.

HOW THE HELL DO WE GAIN CONFIDENCE IN THE BEDROOM WHEN DEALING WITH THINGS ABOUT OUR BODIES THAT MAKE US INSECURE?

We have great tips for you to build your confidence back in the bedroom. If you have anything to add make sure to add them in our comments section to help your fellow sisters!

1. GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD THE LENGTH OF TIME YOU HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP. IT STILL MATTERS.

We love a healthy long and prosperous relationship. But the first mistake that some women make is saying “I’ve been with my partner for ___ years, I don’t need to do anything extra”. While this may be true and excellent that your partner loves you for who you are, that does not change the confidence (or lack thereof) you have when it comes to the bedroom. This is not about the longevity of your relationship and we aren’t saying that you have to be confident or spice up your sex life to “keep your man”. So, changing this in your mind is important. This is about YOU and YOU feeling good again.

2. LEARN TO LOVE YOUR BODY

If women could love their bodies as much as men do we would not feel any confidence issues. Sometimes it’s all in our heads. It can be so uncomfortable when you are dating again and you know it’s moving to the next level BUT you have confidence issues about your body. Not to mention the questions you nervously internalize. Lights on or off? Daylight or Night? Positions? Am I flexible enough? How long will it last? Will my performance be memorable? Will I show enough passion? What if it sucks? The list is endless.

Learn to love your body again. Sure, you could stand in the mirror naked until you get used to your body.

But sending your body love in grattitude and affirmations is something that you can do on a daily basis. Talk to your body; verbalize your love for it.

Example: Thank you for my body that is free of illness, strong, sexy, curvy and beautiful.

Try it for 7 days in a row and watch how your mind shifts.

3. ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS

It can be so uncomfortable to accept compliments. If someone says you are beautiful just say “Thank you so much”. Don’t make a corny joke about yourself by saying something like “Really, because I’ve gained 5 pounds”. That is rejecting a compliment and honestly, what the hell does gaining a little cushion have to do with you not being beautiful? It’s the things we tell ourselves that we no longer need to believe. Start changing the narrative and allow compliments from others. “Your top is gorgeous”. So, then you say “Thank you, I fell in love with it when I saw it” DO NOT SAY “Really because I had to get a bigger size and I doubt I’ll be able to wear it next month”.

4. LEARN AND LOVE YOUR OWN BODY INTIMATELY

Get your head out of the gutter! Although, we do agree that you should know your body intimately, we feel that you should learn and love your body intimately in the manner of going to get monthly massages; its sensual. Getting manicure, pedicure and waxes. Facials are amazing as well. Put yourself in more intimate settings with your body to show it love and compassion.

PERFECT EXAMPLE: A fellow DVNbabe started a ritual to moisturize her skin every night after she took a shower. She used Ecalyptus lotion, oils and developed an entire night and morning time routine. She finally was able to see her partner after 30 days (they lived in different states at the time) and because she developed that intimate routine, it made her feel more confident in her body. When her partner noticed and commented on her soft smooth-smelling skin it boosted her confidence in the bedroom. She felt like the entire day was four-play to her because there was constant touching on her skin, smelling her skin and many compliments.

You’ll learn what your body loves and you will gain more confidence so that the next time you are in the bedroom the uncomfortableness will go away and your confidence will definitely shine through.